How to Travel Like a Movie Star…..On the Subway
Sitting on the subway a while back i thought I’d share some tips on how to travel like a Movie star while on the subway.
Tip #1 – No one can get off the train until you get on.
Allowing people to get off the train while you are trying to get on is just totally not acceptable. They should realize that you are royalty and superior to them and just stand back.
Tip#2 – Get the handicap seat and occupy them both.
This way you make sure that no one can sit next to you (and ask for photos, autographs clippings of your hair). This also helps you stand out from the crowd and lets the other plebs on the subway realize that you are important! Plus it looks good to see the guy hobbling on a crutch on one foot or the pregnant lady, or the old man who can’t stand up for long, just standing next to you sitting. It will help with your status if people see them all standing while you sit, because it will let others know that your status overrides. Little kids will look up to being just like you.
Tip#3 – Dark shades are a must!!!!
What celebrity do you know goes out in public without shades. It may not hide who you are, but people will look at you more to try to figure out if you are really that person they saw on TV….Come on you know you want the extra attention too.
Tip#4 – Make sure to give the Angelina Jolie pout for the entire ride!
It’s sexy. It worked for her and it will work for you. Don’t worry that it hurts your cheeks or that people say it does not quite suit your face. That’s just their opinion because they just can’t do it.
Tip#5 – Strike a pose with every movement.
You just never know when the paparazzi will be on the prowl. Make sure they always get your good side. No panties are a must, because crotch shots are the best….Settle for tights as a last resort.
That’s it…
Follow these tips and trust me. Everyone will think you are a celebrity.
Comments
I am definitely going to do these steps on my way home today. I will keep you posted on the responses/feedback I get!
I realize this is totally facetious, don’t I?
What the heck! Why not go the entire “I’m too special” route and get one of the 3-seaters, and sit in the middle, spread your legs (ladies, please only do this if you are wearing trousers – we just don’t need to know what color your undies are – really!!!)
Then prop your belongings on the seats on either side of you, lounge all over them, and be sure your sunglasses are on tight, so that you can pretend to be blind or asleep…. and beautiful! This will surely impress on all those poor plebes who must stand, while you occupy three seats, how important you, and only you, are.
That is a funny post. I would add talking on the cell phone as if you are the only person around. Celebrities do that right?
lol…one of the things I miss from my subway riding days!
You forgot to mention wearing faaar too much Chanel No9 so that people can know that you’re coming from a mile away. Also, not answering and looking away when people address you is an absolute necessity.
Toodles!
How about wearing headphones and breakdancing? LOL Cool blog concept.
Entertaining post! haha. You forgot to add the warning tip though. Resume normal average look when you think TMZ is around. lol. I had a good laugh out of this.
Does this go for all us budding musicians as well? And I don’t mean busking on the steps down to the subway
Funny post! Talking on the cell phone should be mentioned too…as I usually do. But I am not a star!
lol. It’s interesting to observe people in the subway and think about how their lives must be.
When doing this, if somebody attempts to ask you to move or move your stuff just look up at them and say “Are you really trying to talk to me? PSSSTTTTTTT”
That will always draw attention!
These are some great tips. thanks!
This is kind a funny, thanks for the share…
Haha, this post made my day. Thnx a lot!
Its so funny to hear this news…
Woo if it’s me, I would also invide a friend of mine to act with. talk loudly about additons and relationship with big directors, enjoy people listening u carefully and filling their eyes with surprise! haha
Really good tips. I love your article. I had great time reading it.
I love looking at people in the subway, it can be really funny.
Thank you for your article is really good, it is seldom to find good content in internet.
Funny post! Talking on the cell phone should be mentioned too…as I usually do. But I am not a star!
Thanks!