This is one funny, sad and yet true depiction of the daily transit.
I moved to NYC about 4 years ago and i had to observe to learn just what you said.
The sad part for me was that i was coming from brooklyn, so i had very few people transit workers or not that were willing to help.
The only help i got was one guy that gave me a gem of advice when i needed help on the metrocard system :

” if you don’t get your azz moving quicker and i miss that train cause you don’t know how what metrocard to buy, i’ll make you regret waking up today.”

needless to say i figured out darn quick right then.

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